All my life I've had trouble sleeping. When I was younger, it would take me hours to get to sleep. My mom deemed me the "night owl" of the family. I would stay up really late, roaming the house for someone to talk to...and then sleep until late afternoon. A lot of the night I would just lie in my bed and think. I also rarely slept through the night. It was normal for me to wake up 5-10 times to adjust or peek at the clock.
Early in my relationship with Matt, I didn't sleep for other reasons. Okay, now get your heads out of the gutter! Here's the thing. Because Matt lived in Virginia and I lived in Indiana, we only got to see each other for long weekends once every couple of months. I would literally lie in bed and watch him sleep all night. I didn't want to waste a single second of my time with him sleeping. I just wanted to be with him...to feel his arms around me and have him close. It was something I got so little of and wanted more than anything. This would be especially tough on my last nights with him. I would just stare at the clock, watching my time with him slip away until the alarm would ring and I would be forced to leave the place I wanted to be the most.
These days, things are different. I no longer experience the trouble I used to have getting to sleep. Sure, there are days when I'm not super tired, but it is no where near like it used to be. I'm comfortable. I'm where I belong. I truly believe this is the reason for my improvement.
I will admit, it is still a rarity for me to sleep through the night. Perhaps I'm just restless. I'm used to it by now and it doesn't really bother me. I'm also a constant checker of the clock. Except this morning...
I woke up, chilled by the ceiling fan...and reached for more blanket. I settled into a nice, warm, comfortable position closer to my husband and closed my eyes to continue sleeping away the night. In rare form, I didn't look at the clock seeing as there was no way it was even remotely close to being the time to wake up. My eyes had been closed no more than 2 seconds when the alarm clock rang.
Not cool Monday. Not cool.