Down Will Come Baby...

When Natalie was born, we received so many sweet cards and gifts from family and dear friends.  

In particular, one of Matt's co-workers sent us this gorgeous bench puzzle personalized with Natalie's name.  It was extremely thoughtful and just the cutest little gift.  

To show our appreciation, Matt wanted to take a picture of Natalie sitting up by the stool.  So he headed upstairs, set her down next to the stool, and took this picture.

 

Perhaps I should tell you that at the time this picture was taken, Natalie was about 2 weeks old.  Clearly not able to hold her own head up...let alone sit up straight, my dear husband propped her up only to get this picture of her in the act of tumbling right over.

I was downstairs when this happened and all I heard was Natalie start to cry and Matt say, "Oh..I'm so sorry!  That was Daddy's fault!" 

Ha!  Funniest thing ever.  So glad we have this picture to remember it!

*FYI:  I'm not laughing at the fact that my daughter fell...well, kind of...but mostly at how silly the hubs was to think she could sit there all on her own.  And just so you know, no babies were harmed in the taking of this photo...

Honey, Don't Eat the Children

The other day, Matt and I were preparing to take Natalie out grocery shopping with us.  This is quite the adventure as I need to get presentable myself, pack her diaper bag in case of emergencies, feed her, and then immediately leave as the girl is attached to my boob every two hours on the hour.  It takes a lot of coordination on our parts.

We were all sitting on the couch waiting for Natalie to get hungry when Matt presented his plan to us...

Matt:  "I'm going to take a shower as soon as you eat her."

Um, what?

He clearly meant "feed" her...and tried to play it off like that's what he said...but he couldn't fool me.

So add that to the list of motherly duties I have.  Making sure my husband doesn't mistakenly eat my child instead of feed her.

A mother's work is never done.

This Gives Me The Chills

Okay, so y'all watched The Office last week right?

Remember the part when Dwight was giving Michael the chills?? Okay. I used to do that! I didn't remember it at all until Dwight cracked an "egg" on Michael's head and then I went all crazy like, "Holy crap, I've done that!!" Of course, my husband thought I was nuts and had no idea what I was talking about. But you know, right?

I tried my darnedest to find it online, but as you may've guessed, there are many, many versions. This is the one that is closest to the one I remember doing:

Concentrate, concentrate. Think about what I'm saying. People are dying, children are crying. Concentrate.

Crack an egg on your head, let the yolk run down, the yolk run down, the yolk run down.
Crack an egg on your head, let the yolk run down, the yolk run down, the yolk run down.

Stab a knife in your back and let the blood drip down, the blood drip down, the blood drip down.
Stab a knife in your back and let the blood drip down, the blood drip down, the blood drip down.

Then you have to tell them this story:

You're at the empire state building, way at the top. You're walking, walking, walking... Suddenly you hear someone call your name. You look up, down, side, to side. No one there. You keep walking. Then you hear it again. You look up down, side, to side. No one's there. You keep walking. Look, you've reached the edge of the building. Look, there are cars below you, can you see them, way down there? Your name again, but you ignore it. Suddenly you feel a PUSH!

Ah. Memories.

We also used to do this thing at slumber parties, light as a feather, stiff as a board. How about you?

From Wikipedia: (the best source ever seeing as anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject...so you know you are getting the best possible information--Michael Scott)

One participant lies flat on the floor and then the others space themselves around him or her, each placing their fingers underneath his or her body. Some people report that the apparent weight of the person lifted seems lower than expected or that the person becomes completely weightless.

The person being lifted is told a story about their death and asked to imagine it happening to him or her. Each of the people lifting the other person uses only one or two of his or her fingers on each hand to do the lifting.

Then the entry goes on to explain the "apparent success" of the levitation is because of mind tricking or a self fulfilling prophesy. Well I don't care what Wikipedia says. My friend Erica really was weightless when we lifted her at her birthday party is 3rd grade. And I know that for a fact.

:)

A Phone Convo

When I got home Friday after work, I opened a letter from the hospital where I received all of my procedures for my "girlie parts" saying I was late on my payment. Um, no I was not. I'm in charge of the bills in our house for one reason. I pay them when I get them. I'm weirdly obsessed about it, pride myself on it even. Plus, I distinctly remembered paying this one...the amount was not low.

So I called up the insurance company. The convo went like this:

Automated Service: Please say the primary account holder's social security number. (Like I know Matt's Social Security Number?!?)

Me: Oh, shit!

Automated Service: You seem to be having trouble. I'll transfer you to a representative.


Tip: If you want to talk to a person right away, all you have to do is cuss at the automated system! Oops!