Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Little Modesty...Please!

I've taken to listening to talk radio on my way home from work. I am SO not a talk radio kind of girl, but I tuned into this program one day that happened to be on one of my Christian radio presets after work...and I became a follower. The program was called Chris Fabry Live. I was not instantly hooked, as Chris's voice kind of got on my nerves (sorry Chris!), but as I began to really listen to what he was saying, I found him to be someone I really agreed with and from whom I found great inspiration.

Yesterday's broadcast was a continuation of the previous day's discussion of Miss USA Runner-up Carrie Prejean.




You've heard this story right?? She's the girl who advocated marriage being between a man and a woman during the Miss USA pageant a little while ago?? Anyway, I'm not here to discuss that issue...but something else that was said on the program.

One of Chris's guests was a woman by the name of Constance Rhodes who is the founder and director of FINDINGbalance, an organization dedicated to eating, image, and lifestyle management issues. They were discussing the fact that some listeners had a problem with Carrie being a spokesperson for Christians while participating in a swim suit competition and wearing other types of provocative clothing. Constance's main point was that young adults Carrie's age (...my age...) seem to have an integration issue with their faith. Meaning...the beliefs and faith that they have are not practiced in their everyday lives.

This topic was mainly directed to how women dress. Of course, the Bible encourages a certain level of modesty which seems to contradict what the world views as beautiful. According to the program, boob jobs are things high school seniors are asking for as graduation gifts (um, what?).
What Constance said next truly resonated with me. She said that Christian women struggle with feelings of wanting to be desirable, but also of not wanting to be a stumbling block for others.

Okay. Confession. I've PRIDED myself on being a stumbling block for others! Turning heads is a good thing, right? I mean, I actually went to a Halloween party one year dressed as "cleavage." Yep. Not one of my finer moments. Hey, I was always under the impression that it was my best quality (for sure!) so why not show it off??

Oh my goodness...it's like this woman was talking right to me! Now, don't get me wrong, I got rid of most of my cleavage shirts after college...but dressing appropriately as to not sway the looks of men is not something I have truly ever thought about.

Now, I will.

Sure, I want my husband to think that I'm beautiful and sexy...but do I really want the creep in the office next to me thinking I have great boobs or a nice booty?? No. AND...I shouldn't be consciously putting men in the position to think about that in the first place. I'm definitely not suggesting that we, as women, can stop men from looking at us or thinking sexual thoughts (HA...NOT A CHANCE!), or that we should wear sweat shirts and sweat pants everyday, but that we have the opportunity...and an obligation...to dress modestly. And by golly...modesty can be GORGEOUS!




I mean, to me, this is beautiful. Her boobs aren't hanging out...her booty isn't at risk of revealing itself...it's fabulous.

So what are your thoughts on this ladies?? Did this hit home with anyone else? Do you not agree with it? I'm dying to know!

24 comments:

Island Girl said...

Wow! This hit home with me too! My girls and I love to turn heads, but I've always thought about it from my perspective - not the man's. I agree modesty can be sext too! I mean I've gotten some attention in short/t-shirt and a ponytail - so it's not necessary to show it all...leave some to the imagination :)

Mrs. G.I Joe said...

Okay, I keep meaning to write more on how I was raised Amish but coming from that back ground I was forced to think about this daily! When I turned eighteen I pulled away from the amish way of life and tried my own thing i.e. jeans, t-shirts-shorts ect...However, it took me a very long time before I was ever comfortable in a swim suit and still have those days where I want to cover up the moment I'm stared at. I also have a thing about BEING stared at...And it comes from, again, being Amish...People would gawk at me my entire life and I learned to resent it so even though I no longer stand out like a sore thumb I still want to do whatever I can to make myself less gawkable:p Not a word but hey! I'm not saying that I dress in sweats because I DO NOT! But I do remain aware of how my apperance will effect and draw the attention of others...Especially men....That dress is ery cute by the way! I'd pimp it:p

M.J. said...

A certain degree of modesty is definitely sexy. You have to leave something to the imagination!

Lucy Marie said...

Modesty is definitely an issue I've struggled with and tossed around a lot through my life. Thank you for posting this because I feel like it has served as a reminder for me. I think recently I've had myself in this mindset that "now that I'm adult and married" modesty doesn't matter anymore because I am just for my husband anyway. Thank you for reminding me to be conscious of the effect I may be having on others outside my home as well. Modesty is hard to come by in our culture but, I agree with you, less can be more and it is important to remember that.

Dollface said...

I think that being classy is better than letting everything hang out like that. And i think that she is not the right candidate on a multitude of levels. uggg.... xxoo

The Shabby Princess said...

Oh I'm a total modesty nerd. I think women look so much more attractive when there is something left to the imagination. I feel better about myself when I'm wearing a nice fitting pair of pants, or a cute skirt than when you know, I'm all showin' off or whatever. That doesn't mean that I don't try to look cute or fun or pretty or whatever, but, I do think it's important to remember that we (as women) aren't you know, just here for the men to oogle!

...Southern Bride... said...

I'm trying to find a balance too! I want to be beautiful for my man, yet remain "modest" when I'm around others...it's a fine line that I find myself trying to find the balance! Good post!

Adorably Distracted... said...

I totally agree with you.

I think as we get older we learn this, well most of us do. I can remember being 16 or 17 and thinking less is best. Now I think stores like Hollister and A&F, although way to expensive, have done wonders for some girls. They clothes they promote cover everything and to me, I think someone that looks classy is way more flattering then someone who is barely covered up.

I think nowadays, it doesn't matter how revealing you dress. Some guys realize that you are a pretty girl without less clothes or trying to flaunt it. And although you aren't trying to get his attention, sometimes classy does it.

Great post!!

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

i totally agree with you.

d.a.r. said...

I totally, totally agree with you on this! You could not have said it better.

pocket full of pink said...

What a great post! I think this is something so many women struggle with. It is such a great reminder that we are to dress in a way that honors and pleases God and our husbands. Even thought it may be hard sometimes!

Sara said...

I struggle with this but in the sense that I tend to be too modest. I always think I'm such a plain jane but my husband has helped me be more confident and wear clothes that are more flattering and form fitting. I think there is a clear distinction between sexy and sexual when it comes to style.

Brown Eyed Girl said...

You know, I've never really thought about it this way. How my clothes might affect others. I feel like I'm normally pretty modest, but when you have DD's, it's hard to hide them! HA I want my husband to think I'm sexy when we go out together, but I never really thought about what other men think and how it could be creepy. I need to think about that more. I also need to get better of practicing my faith in my everyday life. So many good points in this post :)

LillySue said...

I agree, but I think there is one thing not mentioned. WHY do some gals feel a need to flaunt body parts? I won't be noticed if I don't? I am not worthy of being liked for my personality? It is popular and I don't want to feel like a dork? Those women need help finding their value from inside. We all have a need to feel accepted but the kind of approval you gain from provocative dressing is not going to be fulfulling for very long. Teens thinking a boob job is going to fix their lives make me soooo sad. I do believe we want to look attractive for our mates, but do we really want to be on the hunt and attracting the kind of men who will go for a gal with it all hanging out? It is all about the message to me. When it comes down to it..we want to be loved for who we are, not what we got. I know men are wired differently, but still, as Christian women, we want to attract a man of virtue, loyalty, and devotion to God. Most of those guys hope to find a gal of modesty, who knows who she is in Christ, not a gal trying to find her value in her sex appeal. So when I get dressed or go clothes shopping, I say to myself if it is boarder line...What point am I trying to make here? If I can look in the mirror and feel like a stranger can see me and not make a misjudgement, I am happy! I do not want to be sending out the wrong message. I have a 16 year old daughter and I remind her of that when we go shopping....Darlin', what point are you trying to make?? If you meet a stranger, what will he believe about you from what you have shown him? I think my daughter has MORE confidence because she knows she is valued for who she is, not what she looks like. As you said so well, we can be cute AND fashionable as a modest, confident Christian woman!! As sisters, we have a obligation to help other gal's know that they are accepted and loved for WHO they are. God created you just as you are and you are perfect and lovely in his eyes. When the world looks at me, they see a middle aged gal with age spots, spider veins, a big nose and sometimes frizzy hair....God sees me as his beloved princess, beautiful and precious in his sight. I choose to bask in that love and to find my value there. When I do, it helps me try to see others with that same kind of love too.
Blessings~LillySue

a H.I.T. said...

I definitely know what you mean. Each year, my tastes become more defined, more me, and I think that all those clothes I used to wear to "get attention" are out the door because I now know that it's not my body that caught and kept Husby's attention, it's my beautiful heart and mind.

Dugout Daisy said...

Having had big boobs my whole life, I've always covered them up while others were telling me to flaunt what I've got... but, really I'd rather not. I was once told in High School that I had a very classy style and that was a much bigger compliment than I could ever imagine getting. You gotta leave things to the imagination. All my guy friends love the girls that carry themselves well and have confidence in what they're wearing, not in how much skin they're showing, those are the girls they won't take home to mom but only to bed. According to them modesty is so very sexy!
Great post!!!

Kristen said...

Great post. As a youth pastor's wife, I know I have many adolescent eyes staring at me. Therefore, I have to be conscious of the things I wear. What I do/wear in moderation, they will do/wear in EXCESS! It's my job to set a good example, while still feeling "stylish." It definitely can be done!

wivelihood.blogspot.com

Buford Betty said...

GREAT post, girl! I gotta come back again when I can type with more than just my thumbs...

quite contrary said...

tag your it...but I think you might have already gotten it...oops!

Danielle and Ryan said...

I think that you hit the nail on the head and that as Christian woman, we should show our love and respect for God and for our husbands with our modesty, outside of the bedroom. Now I have a question, I am not one way or another, but just another Christian woman's advice/opinion- what do you think about Christian woman getting boob jobs? Not talking about the ones who are cancer survivors and need reconstructive surgery, I'm talking about the ones who are giving in to the worldly standards of what boobs should look like and the size they should be...

Danielle and Ryan said...

that is what I was thinking... and in a sense, I don't blame women for wanting to 'look' better, as long as they do it with SOME modesty. This world is so mean when it comes to judging a woman's figure, and I know we all feel like our bodies aren't 'up to par'. Anyways, I enjoy reading your blog!

Kristin said...

I'm with you sister. I'm not above putting the girls on display but there's a time and a place. I know lots of guys that find a tee shirt and jeans crazy sexy. Go figure.

Nessa said...

By golly, yes it can be!

Katie said...

I agree with the general statement this post is making. However, Carrie got breast implants prior to her Miss USA pagent, so I find this to be very contradictory to what she is saying.

Young women will see her, and not necessarily hear her message. She is not someone I'd like to be using as an example. There are plenty of other women out there who are not famous and who dress with modesty.