Thursday, September 29, 2011

How I Survived A Raccoon


So this raccoon.

Y'all.

Okay.  Let's start from the beginning.  Matt and I were venturing out to Gatlinburg around maybe 8-8:30 p.m. one evening.  We had one of those cabins with the walk around porches, you know?  So we were making our way around the back to the stairs where all of the cars were parked.  I heard something coming from the dumpster that was at the bottom of the stairs.  Sure enough, I see two little eyes poking out staring back at me.  Like a freak, I take off running back into the cabin.  I may have even screamed "holy shit" several times, most definitely loud enough for my in laws to hear me.  Score one for daughter in law of the year.

I retold the craziness of my encounter with the raccoon, psyched myself up (with the knowledge that the only thing standing between me and my fudge was that little beady eyed bastard), and headed back outside. 

We made our way slowly to the stairs when suddenly the raccoon jumped out of the dumpster and started after us!  I ran to the other side of the cabin and found myself at a dead end.  Matt was close behind me trying to shoo the monster away with what I believe was a fleece hoodie.  Very intimidating.  Apparently this raccoon had no intentions of backing down as it continued to back us into a corner.  So I did what any sane person would do.  I jumped up onto the railing and jumped off the cabin. 

Technically, Matt jumped off first.  And I thought to myself, "Okay.  I guess we're really jumping!"  And then I jumped. 

I'm not sure how to describe how high we were.  But it was high enough that you had to think twice about jumping for fear of hurting yourself, but not high enough that you wouldn't do it.  I contemplated jumping on one of the cars but I figured a huge ass print on my FIL's Infiniti would not be the best present to give.  Especially after the "holy shit" incident.

We ran to the car, jumped inside, and had ourselves a good laugh about how crazy it was.  I mean, we were chased by a raccoon!  And we jumped off of our cabin!  Too funny.  Unfortunately I came away with two scraped knees to prove it.

When we got back, we found out our little friend had made it's way onto the porch and brushed up against Matt's cousin's leg!  And if you can believe it, he thought it was a cat!  Ah!  After everyone was finally inside, the raccoon stood outside the sliding glass door, peering into our cabin for most of the night.  Needless to say, it was a good thing I wasn't there to witness that. 

Now I know these little guys must be accustomed to having people around all the time, but come on.  Is that really normal?  Eek!  It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it!

7 comments:

Shaina said...

Haaaahhahahaha! This is hilarious and horrifying, all at the same time.

Kristin said...

This made me laugh out loud. Too funny!!!

The Coach's Wife said...

ack! i would have freaked too!!!!

~Haley~ said...

Hahahahaha this is even funnier for me, because my family got a cabin in Gatlinburg a few years ago, and the same exact thing happened to my sister. She was like 12-13 and screamed, ran, cried, jumped. I wonder if it's the same place or if all the raccoons are that friendly! LOL
XoXo

Michal Renee' said...

LOL that is hilarious!! The racoons around my parents are scared by the smallest noise so that's strange to me but doesn't surprise me by others stories I've heard. That's going to be such a great story for a lifetime!

Lucy Marie said...

BAHAHA. No words. Just laughter.

Sonya said...

Oh my! My parents said when they used to camp when we were little that the raccoons stayed away from our campsite because of the dirty diapers in the trash! Next time maybe you can try that!