Do y'all know Proverbs 31 Ministries? It's run by Lysa Terkeurst who I absolutely adore. Not like I know her in person, but you know. Kind of like I adore Pioneer Woman. Same thing, yes?
Anywho. I get daily devotional e-mails from the website. I love the format because it's not just a bible verse...it's a real life example of real life situations that happen to real life women. It's relatable. It's well written. It's powerful.
Some days strike me more than others, of course. But recently an e-mail convicted me so much, I cut and pasted a quote into Word right from the document. I knew I needed to reread this often and never, ever forget it.
It was in the context of women and the way we dress. Now, let's just be honest and say my college days were spent covering up the least amount of my boobs as legally possible and heading out to the bars. It's humiliating to think about. And the most awful part about it was I LOVED the attention. It made me feel pretty. I had something boys wanted and that was the first step to getting a man, right? Or at least making out with someone that night.
I'd like to say I quickly grew out of this trend when I left college. Or even when I met my husband. But it took me a long time to realize the message I was sending. I thought because I wasn't actually acting on the attention I was receiving I wasn't doing anything wrong. No harm done. I would tell myself I'm just a flirt. It's who I've always been. That's just how I was made.
Oh I was so, so wrong.
The truth is, it is not who I am. It is who I am used to being.
This quote stopped my in my tracks. Although it's been years since I made the realization that dressing provocatively sent messages I had no intentions of sending...and tempted the hearts of men in ways I had not wanted, my mouth literally dropped open.
I mean, I've spent my life saying being a flirt is just who I am.
But no it's not, Jenny. It's who you're used to being.
Oh dear. How flippin' true is that?!?
Talk about a wake up call.
So I've taken an active step in my heart and in my mind to be clear in the messages I send out to others...not only in the way I dress but in my words as well. I'm stopping myself before suggestive words come out of my mouth to the opposite sex and am really thinking about what I'm saying. I want my intentions to be clear, especially to my husband. I mean, was I flirting with other men in front of him? I have no idea.
But I do know this.
I will never do it again.