Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Change. The Good and the Bad.

I'm not a person who likes change.  That control freak inside of me (okay, it's not really inside of me...it out there for everyone to see) likes to know what's going to happen before it actually happens.  And when things change, I'm caught off guard, I'm not prepared.  And a Jenny unprepared is one of the worst things in my mind.  In fact I'm getting anxious right now thinking about it.

This is a particularly sensitive area for me during the holiday season.  I wistfully dream of the good old days where I woke up at 6 a.m. with my brother and sister, we all sat in our particular spots on the couch, and we opened presents.  Then Mom would make us an awesome breakfast and we'd all nap on the couch because why the heck did we get up so early?  Or Thanksgiving where we'd go to my Grandma and Grandpa's and sit at the kids table telling jokes or spying on our parents. 

Things have changed so much.  We've added husbands and lost grandparents.  We have so many other people to take into account, our little bubble has been disrupted.  A part of me mourns the loss of my holidays as a kid and the fact that they'll never be the same.

And now that we have a little girl of our own, I want us to make our own holiday traditions for her.  In her own home.  But how do you wake up in your own house on Christmas morning when the rest of your family lives 5 hours south? 

These are all areas we'll eventually have to work out.  Starting with this year's Thanksgiving.  We usually head down to Indianapolis as both my parents and Matt's parents live there.  My sister comes in from Chicago with her husband and we all of Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house.  We're out at 3 a.m. with the crazies for Black Friday and then we celebrate another Thanksgiving with Matt's side of the family is they decide to grace us with their presence. 

This year, work is getting in the way.  Matt has a trial coming up in December and it's serious crunch time.  Before I married an attorney, I thought all lawyers went to court all the time like on T.V.  Well, obviously this isn't true.  Things rarely go to trial so this is a huge, crazy big deal.  And he's swamped.  So this year we're only going to be traveling from late Wednesday to early Friday.  No Black Friday, just a quick dinner and we're outta there.

It makes my heart hurt that things have to change when you get older.  That everything doesn't always go as planned.  But I'm trying to look on the bright side.  I decided since we were going to be home for the weekend...that we could get out Christmas tree!  So I'm all pumped up to decorate for the season.  And seeing as I'm always piling on way too much, I invited several of our friends over on Saturday for another Thanksgiving meal.  Yes.  I'm hosting my first Thanksgiving, making my first turkey...on one week's notice.  When I get home from traveling one day before.

I'm insane.

But I'm also excited to spread the season with our friends who we've come to love.  Who we are so thankful to have surrounding us in this city we never thought we'd stay in more than a year or two.  We're dug in people.  Growing roots, you might say.  And I don't want to leave.


Crispin said...

awww girl we're going through something similar too! Dividing up the holidays and giving everyone enough time is HARD!!!!! Especially when u have a new kiddo!!!!

Sonya said...

I am used to Thanksgiving at my aunt's house every year. Of course when I started dating my husband we started switching back and forth every year. The only thing I miss, besides family, when we aren't at my aunt's in the noodles! My husband's northern family doesn't have them at Thanksgiving!

Now Christmas we do switch back and forth, however, when we have kids Christmas morning will be in our home. We may travel later in the day, but Christmas morning will be at home. We both grew up like that and we want that for our kids.

Happiness Is... said...

It's so hard. I, too, mourn for the holidays as a kid. Throw in some in laws, a brother and sister in law who live out of town and therefore we have to plan around them when we're here and a new baby and, well, you have a recipe for stress. It's hard. But then I think about what it is that we loved as kids and I want to work hard to make sure we create that happy go lucky feeling for our kids. This in between stage is just hard!